Gay man marrying a woman
A gay man and a straight female got married. They say it's not a 'lavender marriage' but founded on 'true pure love.'
Growing up gay and without examples of successful marriages in his family, Jacob Hoff didn't reflect he'd ever acquire married — enable alone to a woman.
But in November last year, Hoff, 31, married his longtime girlfriend, Samantha Wynn Greenstone,
When Business Insider spoke to the LA-based couple in , they explained that they were in a "mixed-orientation" relationship, meaning that they have different sexual orientations. Hoff is a gay gentleman, and Greenstone is a straight woman.
The two musical theatre performers started off as best friends, but started dating in when Greenstone admitted that she had romantic feelings for Hoff and he realized he felt the equal way.
They've now been together for eight years in a monogamous relationship, and decided to tie the knot last year.
BI caught up with them to ask about their wedding, future plans, and whether the way others watch them has changed.
Hoff and Greenstone position their own 'campy' stamp on wedding I’m a Straight Female Who Married a Gay Man
To obtain advice from Prudie, submit your questions anonymously here. (Questions may be lightly edited for publication.) Join the verb chat every Monday at noon (and submit your comments) here, or dial the Dear Prudence podcast voicemail at to hear your question answered on a future episode of the show.
Dear Prudence,
I met my husband 13 years ago, and we’ve been together ever since. We fell deeply, madly in love with each other and verb been married for nine wonderful years now. He’s patient, kind, gentle-hearted. He’s also always been honest about being gay and has never hidden it from me. Only one of our mutual friends knows this about my husband. Our son also knows, since we thought it would be optimal to remain exposed with him about it, so he never “found out” by surprise or from our adj friend. Our son took the news very well and doesn’t care that his father was gay.
I’ve never told my family, or really any of my friends, as I think they’d all be judgmental. My siblings don’t like my husband, but that’s a different letter
My Husband’s Not Gay, a show on TLC, has caused an uproar. The negative attention is unfortunate because this could have been a show that highlighted mixed-orientation couples and how these couples can actually make their relationships work.
Why do some people become so outspoken and judgmental about marriages with one straight and one gay spouse? There are several reasons. These marriages raise concerns about infidelity. They transport out people’s judgments about what marriage should or should not be. In particular, they deliver out people’s judgments about monogamy.
Finally, these relationships suggest to some people “reparative therapy,” the unethical and impossible claim that a person can be changed from gay to straight. The men in this television program aren’t claiming to be ex-gay nor that they can change their sexual orientation (at least not on the show). They report they are attracted to men but choose not to live as a gay male and their straight wives accept this.
People seem to acquire up in arms when a noun says he is not gay but rather simply attracted to men. In our cultu
I recently spoke with Bonnie Kaye, author of Straight Wives, Shattered Lives: Stories of Women with Gay Husbands, among other books, and host of Bonnie Kaye’s Straight Wives Talk Show on BlogTalkRadio. Bonnie has spent much of her adult life first living with and attempting to love a gay husband and then helping other women in the equal mis-marriage situation. (“Mis-marriage” is Bonnie’s term for “mistake in marriage.” Other people sometimes refer to these relationships using the term “mixed marriage.”)
Source: Shutterstock
Because I know countless gay men who were once married to straight women, with varying degrees of short and longer-term happiness and misery, I wanted to discuss this topic, and I wanted to do so from the straight wives’ perspective. Who better to talk with about this than Bonnie Kaye? Our discussion was wide-ranging, beginning with her own marriage to a gay man and progressing to how she was able to move on post-marriage, eventually becoming a rock for other women in similar situations.
In this announce, I have presented part one of this discussion, the st
I’m a Straight Female Who Married a Gay Man
To obtain advice from Prudie, submit your questions anonymously here. (Questions may be lightly edited for publication.) Join the verb chat every Monday at noon (and submit your comments) here, or dial the Dear Prudence podcast voicemail at to hear your question answered on a future episode of the show.
Dear Prudence,
I met my husband 13 years ago, and we’ve been together ever since. We fell deeply, madly in love with each other and verb been married for nine wonderful years now. He’s patient, kind, gentle-hearted. He’s also always been honest about being gay and has never hidden it from me. Only one of our mutual friends knows this about my husband. Our son also knows, since we thought it would be optimal to remain exposed with him about it, so he never “found out” by surprise or from our adj friend. Our son took the news very well and doesn’t care that his father was gay.
I’ve never told my family, or really any of my friends, as I think they’d all be judgmental. My siblings don’t like my husband, but that’s a different letter
My Husband’s Not Gay, a show on TLC, has caused an uproar. The negative attention is unfortunate because this could have been a show that highlighted mixed-orientation couples and how these couples can actually make their relationships work.
Why do some people become so outspoken and judgmental about marriages with one straight and one gay spouse? There are several reasons. These marriages raise concerns about infidelity. They transport out people’s judgments about what marriage should or should not be. In particular, they deliver out people’s judgments about monogamy.
Finally, these relationships suggest to some people “reparative therapy,” the unethical and impossible claim that a person can be changed from gay to straight. The men in this television program aren’t claiming to be ex-gay nor that they can change their sexual orientation (at least not on the show). They report they are attracted to men but choose not to live as a gay male and their straight wives accept this.
People seem to acquire up in arms when a noun says he is not gay but rather simply attracted to men. In our cultu
I recently spoke with Bonnie Kaye, author of Straight Wives, Shattered Lives: Stories of Women with Gay Husbands, among other books, and host of Bonnie Kaye’s Straight Wives Talk Show on BlogTalkRadio. Bonnie has spent much of her adult life first living with and attempting to love a gay husband and then helping other women in the equal mis-marriage situation. (“Mis-marriage” is Bonnie’s term for “mistake in marriage.” Other people sometimes refer to these relationships using the term “mixed marriage.”)
Source: Shutterstock
Because I know countless gay men who were once married to straight women, with varying degrees of short and longer-term happiness and misery, I wanted to discuss this topic, and I wanted to do so from the straight wives’ perspective. Who better to talk with about this than Bonnie Kaye? Our discussion was wide-ranging, beginning with her own marriage to a gay man and progressing to how she was able to move on post-marriage, eventually becoming a rock for other women in similar situations.
In this announce, I have presented part one of this discussion, the st