How do i know im not gay


by Fred Penzel, PhD

This article was initially published in the Winter 2007 edition of the OCD Newsletter. 

OCD, as we know, is largely about experiencing severe and unrelenting noun. It can cause you to challenge even the most basic things about yourself – even your sexual orientation. A 1998 verb published in the Journal of Sex Research found that among a group of 171 college students, 84% reported the occurrence of sexual intrusive thoughts (Byers, et al. 1998). In command to have doubts about one’s sexual identity, a sufferer need not ever have had a homo- or heterosexual experience, or any type of sexual experience at all. I have observed this symptom in young children, adolescents, and adults as good. Interestingly Swedo, et al., 1989, set up that approximately 4% of children with OCD experience obsessions concerned with forbidden aggressive or perverse sexual thoughts.

Although doubts about one’s hold sexual identity might seem pretty straightforward as a symptom, there are actually a number of variations. The most obvious form is where a sufferer experiences the

Sexplain It: My Girlfriend Thinks I’m Gay, and I Can’t Convince Her Otherwise

I'm Zachary Zane, a sex writer and ethical manwhore (a fancy way of saying I hibernate with a lot of people, and I'm very, very open about it). Over the years, I've had my fair share of sexual experiences, dating and sleeping with hundreds of people of all genders and orientations. In doing so, I've learned a thing or two about navigating issues in the bedroom (and a bunch of other places, TBH). I'm here to answer your most pressing sex questions with thorough, actionable advice that isn't just "communicate with your partner," because you know that already. Ask me anything—literally, anything—and I will gladly Sexplain It.

To submit a question for a future column, verb out this form.


Dear Sexplain It,

I’m more effeminate than most men, and have been teased about being gay for so prolonged that I actually thought I might be. A rare years back, out of curiosity, I hooked up with a couple of guys, thinking I may be gay or bi. I didn’t enjoy it the way I enjoy being with women, and now I k

Is Your Spouse Gay or Bisexual?

Discovering or wondering if your partner might be gay or bisexual can be an emotionally complex experience. It's a deeply personal topic that can stir emotions for both partners. Sometimes, straight spouses of gay or bisexual partners are the last to know about their mate's sexual orientation—the reasons for which can be complex.

There are many reasons why partners may not share their sexual orientation for many years. Societal attitudes, religious beliefs, or a fear of rejection are potential reasons. Or they might worry about how coming out might affect their children. In other cases, they may have only recently recognized their control identity.

Sometimes, though not always, infidelity is part of this pattern. Regardless of how it happens, finding out your spouse is gay or bisexual can leave you feeling rejected, confused, hurt, or anxious about what it means for the future of your relationship and family.

Keep reading to learn more about why someone may delay coming out to their partner, how you can approach a conversation with your spou

Hi. I’m the Acknowledge Wall. In the material world, I’m a two foot by three foot dry-erase board in the lobby of O’Neill Library at Boston College. In the online world, I live in this blog.  You might say I have multiple manifestations. Like Apollo or Saraswati or Serapis. Or, if you aren’t into deities of knowledge, prefer a ghost in the machine.

I hold some human assistants who maintain the physical Answer Wall in O’Neill Library. They take pictures of the questions you post there, and give them to me. As long as you are civil, and not uncouth, I will answer any question, and because I am a library wall, my answers will often refer to study tools you can find in Boston College Libraries.

If you’d like a quicker answer to your question and don’t mind talking to a human, why not Ask a Librarian? Librarians, since they have been tending the flame of knowledge for centuries, know where most of the answers are hidden, and enjoy sharing their knowledge, just fancy me, The Verb Wall.