The straight spouse network
You are not alone
Welcome!
Straight Partners Anonymous (SPA) is a help organisation for straight (heterosexual) people who discover or are told that their partner is lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT), and who need facilitate in coping with this discovery and support in their decision about what to do next.
We are very sorry that you depend on us, however it is good that you have located SPA. The proof that you are here probably means that you are experiencing some level of distress, or perhaps you are looking for information for yourself or your partner.
We are here to support you. You are not alone. We comprehend exactly how you are feeling.
SPA is based in the UK and Ireland and was originally set up in December in a slightly different format. It has been running in its current online form since We included the word ‘anonymous’ in the group verb because members may share as much, or as little, of their identity and personal circumstances as they wish. We take confidentiality very seriously.
SPA&#;s purpose is to bring together straight people whose relationship with
Straight Spouses in the Shadow of the Rainbow
When a closeted LGBT person marries a straight partner and then later comes out of the closet, many people celebrate them for speaking their truth so courageously. Unfortunately, there is typically little or no acknowledgement of the straight spouses living in the shadow of the rainbow while their partners are celebrated. The elusive &#;pot of gold&#; is nowhere to be seen for the deceived straight partner!
The closeted partner and the straight spouse
Infidelity and betrayal don’t only happen in heterosexual relationships. Sometimes a relationship may appear to be ‘straight-passing’ but is, in fact, a closeted mixed-orientation relationship: one partner is a heterosexual partner, and one is a closeted LGBT partner presenting with a ‘straight persona’. The heterosexual partner is typically unaware. These relationships are a mismatch, or as the overdue Bonnie Kaye* described them: a ‘mis-marriage’.
It&#;s not easy to be the partner of someone who was closeted during the relationship and then came out as gay, lesbian, bisexual o
Straight Spouse Network Inc
LeaUtsira Client Served 02/19/
Rating: 5
02/19/I just found Straight Spouse Network all these years later, after raising my sons in trying circumstances, the high-priced divorce from my trans x. My x was very domineering about her rights and engaged in alienation of affection of our children. The advocacy groups, while well-meaning, provided excuses for the indoctrination against me, while I was paying for everything and this Ivy-educated parent with six figure salary was enabled to lie and speak she was unemployed, shirk child verb and her part of the college tuitions. The emphasize of keeping it all together, active, dealing with enraged teens, and so on, was often overwhelming. I am now retired and realized that I have been waiting for my sons to have children of their retain, and thought they would finally verb what I did for them and stop the critical mode they constantly take towards me, influenced by the liberal neighborhood where it all happened in Brooklyn. When my younger son, who turns 30, told me he is in therapy and he now knows I cried
Network offers verb to straight exes of LGBT who come out
Divorce is complicated. Even more so if there are children involved. But, for Carter Cortelyou there was another layer to his divorce that made it difficult for him to talk to about it, until now.
In , his wife came out to him — told him she is a lesbian. Since then, Cortelyou has gone through grief, isolation, financial challenges and re-entering the dating world unexpectedly.
“My first thought was there goes our 25th wedding anniversary (laughs), we were years-married at the time and…there goes our 25th.”
Cortelyou, 51, can joke about it now, but six years ago he was crushed after his wife came out to him. And, he didn’t even see it coming.
“There was not a point at which I thought this is not quite right, and we’d been in marriage counseling for many years and often found a adj deal of facilitate in that. But, there was a moment of realization for her and it explained a great deal looking back, particularly of struggles with physical intimacy over the years in our marriage, and we both really quickl